Serving New Haven and Fairfield Counties

Emotional Effects of a Divorce

Anger

During all stages of divorce, you might feel intense anger towards your ex. You may be angry

with him/her for leaving you, for not understanding you, or for having an affair. At other times,

you may be angry with yourself for not seeing the signs, or for allowing him/her to hurt you in the

way he/she did. It is important to recognize if his/her actions are continuing to anger you.

You need to forgive him/her and yourself for the roles each of you played

that led up to the divorce. Forgiveness is the only thing that can set you free to build a happy

and fulfilling life going forward.

 

Guilt

Women/Men are filled with guilt during and after a divorce regardless of who initiated it.

You might be wracking your brain trying to determine whether you made the right decision.

If he/she left, you could be asking yourself what you did wrong or what you could have done better.

Only by learning to let go of the past, learning from it, and forgiving yourself can you move forward.  sad-girl

 

Fear

Many women/men are terrified during divorce. There are many faces of fear,

including fear of the unknown, the fear of making ends meet, the fear of being a

single parent, the fear of what other people will think … the list goes on and on.

When you begin to feel fearful, ask yourself whether that mindset is productive,

and seek out the help of  a professional.

 

Anxiety

Anxiety and stress is a mixture of many negative emotions, including fear, guilt and anger.

Reduce stress by letting go of all the what if’s and focus simply on each task at hand and completing

things one day at a time. Learn techniques to deal with anxiety such as deep breathing, meditating and

exercising.

 

Grief

It is natural to be sad when your marriage ends. Grieving over the death of your marriage can be

a very painful experience, but it is also a healthy response. By allowing yourself to go through the

five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – you will be able to “let

go” and be free to create your own future.

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