When it comes to relationships, you often hear about the secrets to having a great one, but no one ever talks about the secrets to a great divorce. Whether you’re hiring an attorney or handling things yourself, here are the secrets to making it work when it doesn’t work out.
- Forget love and practice respect.
You don’t have to love one another any longer, you may not even like one another – but you can still have a divorce filled with respect. Respect for your former spouse and respect for the marriage you had. If you can respect your soon-to-be ex as a human being, extricating yourself from your marriage with integrity, then you will be able to work through any differences that arise.
- Keep children from your mudslinging.
Ideally there won’t be any mudslinging if you’re able to respect one another, but if you should have disagreements and verbal conflicts, make sure you keep the kids far away from that. It’s best to go to a location that will give you privacy so you two can talk out your differences away from others. Consider working with a mediator to avoid circumstances where arguments can spiral out of control.
- Discuss your options before going separate ways.
Simply talking about how each of you expect the divorce to go and how you want to do your best to avoid conflict escalation will create an awareness to see you through the process or at least ground you to a common goal when emotions run high
- Learn to forgive even if you’re not asked for forgiveness.
Not only will this prepare you for any negotiations that arise, it will also make it easier for you to transition into your new life post divorce.