Divorce is often messy so once it’s all said and done, you might find solace in the fact that you will have less contact with your ex. Of course, if you have children together, then you can throw this out the window. You’ll have to shove down any hard feelings you may still be harboring for the sake of the children since communication is so important when you are raising children together.
So many newly divorced individuals struggle to set aside the animosity they feel toward their spouse. As a result, they turn their children into messengers and even worse, they vent their frustrations at them. Children should not be exposed to disparaging comments of their parent nor forced to take sides.
Tips to Reduce the Stress of Visitation Exchanges
Here are a few strategies that will help mitigate the stress of visitation exchanges with your ex-spouse. These will help reduce some of the stress related to the early stages of divorce.
First and foremost, don’t pass your kids back and forth like they’re an Amazon package. Make the transition as gentle as possible for their sake. Look at this from a child’s perspective. If you exchange them in a parking lot, your child will feel like commerce. Instead, find natural transition points that take away the sting.
For instance, if your children ride the bus to school, then you can simply have them take the bus to their other parent’s house. This would feel like a normal routine for them. Even if you drive them to school yourself, you can just have the other parent pick them up.
Another good method is to take your kids to a restaurant and enjoy a meal. Then once they are done, they leave with the other parent.
The key is to make it feel less like an exchange and more like a routine.
Finally, never use visitation exchange as a place to discuss divorce issues. You must be cordial toward your ex-spouse in your children’s presence. It’s difficult when the divorce is messy but sometimes we all have to do things we don’t like for the sake of our children.
If you are looking to get through a divorce with as little stress as possible, then you need an experienced lawyer at your side. Hirsch Legal, LLC specializes in divorce and family law. Our lead attorney, Carmina K. Hirsch, Esq., is an accomplished divorce and child custody attorney in Oxford, Connecticut. Give us a call and we’ll guide you through this process and make it as painless as possible.