Being served with a divorce lawsuit can for some sharpen the mind and bring out a problem solving attitude, and for others turn an otherwise intelligent and reasonable person into the polar opposite.
As difficult as it may be to file suit against your spouse, that is just the first step in what often becomes a long, fraught battle of wits and emotions.
Some people, after seeing the devastating impact their wish to divorce has on their spouse, start to regret their decision, feel guilty for inflicting this pain on their spouse, and then blame themselves for the problems in their marriage. They then begin to make take steps or make decisions that may harm them during the ensuing settlement negotiations and/or the discovery phase leading up to a hearing or a trial.
People new to the divorce process have very little concept of what to expect, stories on the internet or from family and friends often are not relevant to what may occur in your case. Even after both of parties have engaged lawyers, your spouse may attempt to talk with you privately to “work out” custody arrangements or to make inquiries about some aspect of your financial situation.
Before taking a “kiss and make up” phone call from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, you should take a step back and think carefully. When you feel tempted to ask yourself, “Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden?,” always consider the possibility that there may be a hidden agenda or ulterior motive to these contacts. Perhaps one of his legal or financial advisors suggested that he try to convince you to reduce your settlement demands, perhaps by signing away your rights to an important part of your joint assets. Perhaps he’s probing for information that will help him win a child custody dispute.
When you hire a divorce lawyer you place yourself in a more advantageous position as you are no longer alone in navigating the process and have a counselor and advocate to guide you when strategizing the next best step forward. There is likely little harm in discussing music and art and your children’s schedules with your spouse during the divorce process, but little may be gained and much can be lost when you make an off-hand admission or a concession that weakens your case in Court. Always be on your guard. For the most part it is better to communicate with your spouse on financial and other sensitive matters primarily if not exclusively through your lawyer.
Hirsch Legal LLC is one of Connecticut’s premier firms for people considering or faced with a divorce. Wee serve clients in New Haven county and Fairfield County, Connecticut. If you live in Shelton, Westport, Bridgeport, Danbury, Stamford or any of the surrounding areas, we’re here for you!